Hiatus

So, I decided to go on a month long hiatus from Facebook, Twitter, texting and emailing for non-business reasons and I have a lot of supporters. That makes me feel good, but at the same time, I have people not respecting my wishes. Why is there always a few people who choose to not support you? Answer...haters come in droves. Not everyone wants to see you succeed or do something positive in your life. As sad as it may seem, it's very true.

Just today, I was talking with my sister about friendship and she said she hopes my friends realize how great of a friend I am; when I told her I hope so too, but I actually think she's one of the main ones who actually KNOW what a great friend I am. She said that's a sad truth, but I may be right. I told her I know I'm right, simply because of the shit I've been through. Not everyone wants to support you because some people are self-centered and as usual, misery loves company....

Take this past weekend for instance...My birthday was Saturday and a lot of people remembered and told me happy birthday, but there are those who knew and remembered, but chose not to say a word. Why? Because misery loves company. They saw so many people telling me happy birthday via Facebook and felt the need to say nothing. I won't lose any sleep over it. I still turned 37 and will turn 38 in another 361 days without them, so I just smile and keep on moving.

With that said, I just want to say thank you to all those who support me and all of my decisions, whether you agree with them or not. A hiatus is good to do, to spend time with yourself, so if you've never considered it, I think you should. I love not being obligated to anyone or anything and just going with the flow and saying yes to things I really want to say yes to.

I'm just saying.

Associates

Should we be concerned about someone we consider a friend when that person is doing nothing but trying to hold us back from accomplishing our goals?

By all means! That person isn't a friend and shouldn't be called a friend. We use that word too loosely and it always comes back to haunt us. Friends will be there no matter what and an associate will always try to make you be there for them when you're trying to make something happen in a positive way for yourself. Misery loves company. If we remember these simple things, there will be fewer accusations of "my best FRIEND stabbed me in the back". No boo, your associate stabbed you in the back because he/she wasn't your friend to begin with.

I have been in numerous situations where I called a man or a woman my friend; even my best friend, only to get hurt in the end when that so called friend did something to hurt me in the end. We have to be more careful of who we call friends and an easy way to do that is by taking the time to consider those who have a positive influence in our lives and those who create the most animosity and cause us to be negative in the end.

A few years ago, I came to the realization that several people whom I loved to hang out with and party with daily, were corrupting my life (for lack of a more appropriate phrase) and when I decided to pray on it day and night, I was shown in more ways than one that it was time to let them go and focus on me. It wasn't easy, but it had to be done, so I got the courage to call them and not let my kindness be taken as a weakness any longer, and I let them go. After that, I felt refreshed and renewed and I got back in school, something that I was told by them was not for me at that time.

It was a messy situation, but in the end I realized that it's true that some people are in your life for a reason, others for a season, and very few for a lifetime. As much as I wanted those people to be in my life for a lifetime, I had to realize that we don't have control over that, so we need to accept the way things are presented to us and move on.

I have moved on since then, gotten my BFA and my MBA and if anyone asks me if I ever think about those "friends", I will proudly tell them yes, all the time. There's no shame in admitting when I miss someone or think about someone and I will admit it with the quickness, but do I think I messed up in letting them go? Not at all. Would I let another "friend" go whom I feel isn't right for my life and the direction I'm trying to go? Absolutely!

Don't hate, get like me. I'm just saying.

More Splinters

Okay...So most of you who have been reading my blog know that I have posted a few that were titled Pet Peeves and then I changed the name to Splinters because I wanted to be different, plus splinters better describes how these things can be. They get under your skin just enough to irritate you like splinters.

My newest splinter is people who only respond to one question in an email, text, tweet, etc. For example, let's say I send an email to a friend of mine and ask these questions: How are you? How's the family? I haven't seen you in a while, how's the new job coming? I heard you had a baby, how old is he/she now? and their response is "He's 2 years old. How are you doing?"

WTF?? Did you NOT see my other questions? Did I just waste my time typing for my health? People, you need to answer ALL questions because trust me, if it irritates me, it irritates someone else.

Get it together people and READ every single question and RESPOND to every single question. Geesh!

The Twitter Fad

So, everyone's into this new fad of "tweeting" and I must admit I am addicted as well...

First it was MySpace, then Facebook and now Twitter. What exactly is Twitter and how does it work is what I get asked most often, as if I created the site. For those of you who don't know what it is or those of you who signed up for a page without reading what it's about on their home page, here is the dummed down explanation for you.

Twitter is basically a networking site like Facebook and MySpace, except it's easier to work because you only do two things...post short 140 character messages letting your friends and followers know what you're doing, what's on your mind or just any random jargon you feel free to say at the moment and you can reply to their messages. It's that simple. So as you can see, there is no detailed explanation for those of you who ask "How does this work?" You don't have to figure anything out like on Facebook or MySpace. You just send a tweet and keep moving. You can even download mobile applications to your phone and tweet even faster...and before you ask how to do that or what application you need for your phone, Google it like I did! I Googled "Twitter mobile download for BlackBerry" and got several links telling me about TwitterBerry, so Google it for your particular phone and have fun!

If you decide to get on Twitter, look for me and follow me. My ID is SEKCEE66. Bye for now, my future Tweeps and I hope to see you following me soon...

Christianity

What exactly constitutes a Christian?

Is it someone who attends church all the time and constantly preaches the Word of the Lord, yet has so much hatred in their hearts, they do not know how to forgive and forget when the Bible stresses forgiveness? Or is it someone who believes in God and follows His word, yet doesn't feel the need to preach to others, but that person is a forgiving person who doesn't hold grudges and can move forward? Which one are you? Which one is the correct version of a Christian?

As usual, this blog stems from a real situation in my life. My brother's stupid baby mama is one of the most evil and vindictive persons I have ever met, yet she claims she is a Christian. I beg to differ.

This girl is so evil and vindictive, I have never seen anyone like her. She is the devil in disguise. How can anyone be so cold as to not allow the father of their child or anyone else in that family to talk to or visit the child? My brother loves his first child to death and it kills him that he cannot be an active part of her life. Because he chose not to be with the mother, she has taken things to new levels where she doesn't answer any of his calls or mine, hangs up in our faces and has resorted to telling my brother he will never see his daughter again. When confronted about the situation and we tell her that it's been 7 years and she needs to get over my brother, she denies that she still wants him, but her actions speak differently. It's really sad and the past few days were really difficult for me as I was in San Antonio where she lives and I called the mother's house to try and talk to or see my niece, but was denied that opportunity. The mother has tried to hide by changing her phone numbers several times, but little does she know that with technology these days, anyone can be found and we did just that...found her. I called and as soon as she recognized my voice, she hung up. She didn't even bother to find out what I wanted, nor did she care. She coldly hung up in my face then didn't answer any of my calls after that. I was furious and almost drove to her house to let her see I found out where she lives although she thinks no one knows, but I decided to pray instead.

With that being said, I ask again...what exactly constitutes calling yourself a Christian? Can someone please tell me so I am no longer confused?

Career Student

Some of my friends and family tease me, saying I'm a career student or a professional student. I'll take that. It's hard to believe that just 5 years ago, I hadn't finished my undergrad degree from back in the day and that in just a couple of weeks, I will have my MBA. I am super excited! I owe my decision to go back to school to a couple of people; my best friend and her husband. They were extremely supportive in me going back to school and now that I have gone back, I can't seem to stop. I used to think school was horrible and I often said I would never go back. Well, my thoughts have changed and I am glad I made the decision to go back just a few short years ago.

I will have 3 degrees to my name in a few weeks and I am even contemplating going for a second master's in the fall of this year. I am here to tell anyone who is currently in school and not looking to go to college that it may not be for you now, but years from now, if you decide to go back to pursue a long awaited degree, you are bound to learn a lot more and pay attention more as an adult than as a teenager. I will graduate Magna Cum Laude and back in high school, I barely graduated Thank You Laude!

Thanks Tree and Errol for instilling in me that getting my degree should be something I do for myself first and for a job or anyone else second. Thank God for allowing me the opportunity to fulfill my dreams of earning my degree and for the opportunity to learn more than I thought I would ever learn in school. Hats off to everyone in school pursuing any degree they are pursuing. I wish you all the best!

Pissed

I'm mad as hell right now for numerous reasons. I might blog about those reasons tomorrow, but for now, just know it probably has to do with you if you're reading this. If you are reading this and don't know me, then it isn't about you. I'm just saying....

Haters

hate [heyt]

verb, hat-ed, hat-ing, noun

-verb (used with object)

1. to dislike intensely or passionately; feel extreme aversion for or extreme hostility toward; detest: to hate the enemy; to hate bigotry.

Do we shake the haters off or entertain them by showing our envy towards them?

Do you show hatred towards someone you consider a friend just because that person has done something you have long awaited to do? Or do you congratulate them on their accomplishment because you are genuinely happy for them?  We all have a jealous side and that's normal, but allowing it to show is when the problem occurs. Let's all try a little harder to keep that jealousy buried within and keep smiling! 

I have a friend who is always smiling. She is always happy and I don't think I have ever seen her not smiling. Recently I was looking for an angry photo of her for a project I was working on and I honestly could not find one. I told her every single photo I have of her, whether it's a shot she posed for or a candid one where she was caught off guard, she is smiling. Those are the people we should have surrounding us daily....happy and positive people. Hatred is very negative and we should try hard to avoid negative situations and negative people. If you have someone in your life who is always complaining about something and always seems to have negative things to say about something or someone, turn that negative energy around by offering them something positive as a response. I guarantee they will either begin to agree with you and turn their attitude around or they will leave you alone because they see no matter what they say, you will not join them in their negativity. You know what they say...misery loves company. I don't know about you, but I'd rather have the company of the happy people around me daily. Life is too short to go around mad, complaining and hating on people on a regular basis.

I'm just saying.

Mardi Gras 2009

It's that time of year again when everyone parties hard for Mardi Gras, gets drunk, throws beads, women show their tits and no one has any regrets the next day. This year I'm not going to Mardi Gras, but that doesn't mean I won't celebrate in my own way.

My question to you women is...have you ever shown your tits for beads? If so, did you get the beads or did the guy just tease you to get you to show your goods?

Be safe out there and have a happy Mardi Gras 2009!!!

Kimisms

:)


Do you have a friend who types the wrong word(s) all the time? Does that irritate you or do you turn it around to make fun of them and include those words in your everyday email vocabulary?


I have a friend who I am fortunate enough to have in my life to provide us with these "kimisms" daily. I have a ton of pet peeves or "splinters" as I like to call them now, so I am very fortunate to have someone like her to provide laughter and make me turn those pet peeves into a comedic situation. Here is a list of "kimisms" to help you translate your emails or text messages just in case you need them:


Wonder = wonderful
Prays = prayers
Excite = excited
Brunch = bunch
Minds = mines
To = too
Know = now
Angel = angel
Want = won't

Frustrated

I'll keep this short and sweet. I am really frustrated for several reasons. One main reason is because I get sick and tired of not feeling like I can be myself. I feel I have to pretend to be someone I'm not sometimes, for one reason or another. One thing I am going to really work on from this day forth is focusing on pleasing myself and worrying less and less about others. I waste too much time, energy and oxygen on trying to please others, trying to figure out why they do the things they do or why they don't do things a certain way and personally, I'm sick of it and I'm sick and tired of being frustrated or irritated by these things daily. So, if you all don't give a damn, why should I? I'm just saying.

Like I've said before and will continue to say....If you think what I'm saying is about you, chances are, it probably is.

Peace....zRo

Inquisitive or Nosey

The question of the day is are you just inquisitive about certain things or are you flat out nosey?
Do you ask people things that you really don't understand and are curious to know the answer to or do you ask questions just to get into their business?

Like everything I blog about, this is a real situation that has happened to me at some point in time, so I'm posing this question to everyone else to see how you may have handled these situations. Also, I'm trying to find out if you are one of those people who just like to be in everyone else's business or if you are one of those inquisitive people?

Growing up, my mom would often ask me what does a certain friend of mine do for a living and my answer would most times be "I don't know." That would irritate the crap out of her because she said I never asked enough questions. My response to her would always be that asking a ton of questions may not come across as a good thing. It may come across as me being nosey and to this day, I still tell her she is just plain nosey and to stop asking me so many questions and to stay out of my business! LOL!

All jokes aside, I still have a problem with asking someone too many questions. I just don't want to seem like the nosey, gossip type. Therefore, I live by a rule that if you ask someone a question and they give you a short answer, that's all that person wants you to know, so you should not continue to ask them questions.

Do you agree or disagree? Are you nosey and can admit it or are you just inquisitive and can stop at one question regardless of the answer you are given? Inquiry minds want to know...

Simply Saying Thank You

Okay people, I posted a blog a while back about simple acts of gratitude and unfortunately not very many people took it seriously. When are we going to learn to simply say "thank you" to people for whatever they may do for you?? I mean, it irritates me like you could never imagine to take the time to give someone some advice, directions, information, a phone number, or whatever the case may be, only to have them ignore me and not bother to say a simple thank you. You know what that makes me think? It makes me think that you think you're better than me and that it's my job to go out of my way to provide you with infomation that you could have very well looked up yourself. Got dammit! Come on people! Work with me here and say thank you! You're killing me. I'm trying my damnest to be nice and be a more positive person, but you're making me resort to either not answering you when you text me a question, lie and tell you I have no idea, or just do like you do and ignore you. I really don't want to resort to being an idiot like you, but if push comes to shove, I will lead by your example and just ignore you so I am not forced out of my positive element and into your negative one.

I'm just saying...

Once again, if you have to question who I may be talking about, chances are, it's you. So take a moment to reevaluate how you respond (or not respond) to someone who is going out of their way to do something nice for you, only to have you ignore their act of kindness and appear unappreciative.

Wino's Anonymous

My sister and I were recently told that we need to go to W. A. meetings (Wino's Anonymous) because we love wine so much. Well, we decided to admit to our problem and do something about it, so we currently have daily meetings at an undisclosed location to sample different wines that may not be good for us.

The main problem we have is other people having a problem with us drinking wine. We don't see anything wrong with this and surely don't think it's a problem because our main objective is to drink lots of wine in order to filter out the wines we don't like so we know what to give up when we attend our meetings. How else can we find out which wines are nasty if we don't taste them all?

So, if you love wine and feel you have a problem finding out which wines you need to stop drinking, join us for our Wino's Anonymous meetings for help. We promise to keep your addiction a secret and we will never, ever reveal which wines you dislike. We honor and respect our code of ethics.

Truce or Surrender?

When do you realize enough is enough and raise the white flag? Is that even an option? Do you continue to fight for what you believe in when you feel you're right, or do you just say to hell with it because you're tired of pleading your case and you just don't want to deal with that person any longer? Any of these questions sound familiar to you? Is this a truce or are you surrendering to the bullshit and throwing in the towel?

They sound all too familiar to me. I know most of you reading my blog might think "WOW, this idiot has a lot of drama in her life!", but that's not true. I USED to have a lot of drama in my life, but with growth and maturity, came weeding out the negativity while embracing all things positive.

Just today, I had someone (who shall remain nameless for now) email me and then call me a few hours later about the email where he or she thought I wasn't being very "friendly". I have three letters for statements like this...W T F??? Where is it written in stone that I have to be "friendly" to everyone I meet? I must have missed that portion of the handbook, so if you have a copy, by all means, please highlight that part and send me a copy.

Grudges

Are you one to hold grudges? How long should you hold a grudge, if you hold one at all? What's the longest you've ever held a grudge?

I bet some of you could hold a record in the Guiness Book for holding a grudge. It's not healthy to hold anger inside like that and no one should hold a grudge against someone. It only makes you bitter and very negative. Back in the day, I used to be the queen of holding grudges and I could tell you the exact year, day and place when you pissed me off. Every grudge had a good reason and I remembered every single reason. Not only was I a grudge holder, I would take it upon myself to get revenge on those people. It wasn't until I grew up and got more mature that I realized it isn't my job to make someone pay for the evil acts they bestow upon others. No, that's not my job and it's not yours either. This year and moving forward in the future, everyone should take a vow to not hold grudges any longer.

When I went to my 10 year high school reunion, there were people there still mad from something that happened 10 or even 14 years prior. All I can say is it's a damn shame that people can be that petty after we've all grown up and are no longer teenagers. Holding grudges brings about hatred and life is too short to hold hatred in your heart for someone. A wise friend once made a comment about someone we know, saying "How is she going to try and sweep off my porch when her own porch is dusty and needs sweeping?" I loved it when she said it and I love it now. I can't wait to go to my 20 year reunion next year just to see if those same people, or even new ones, are still mad from something that happened over 20 years ago. I'll just shake my head and pray for them if they are...and you know who you are.

At any rate, if you think I'm still the same person I was when I was 17 or even 27, you're wrong. I've changed a great deal and I'm a much happier, forgiving, positive person, so if you are hesitant about speaking to me when you see me at the reunion, by all means don't be hesitant. I will embrace you with a big warm hug and we can celebrate what it is....a reunion!

Peace...

Splinters

It's 2009 and time for change. I have always been a stickler for change and don't adapt too well when things stay the same. So, one change I'm going to make for this year is to call my pet peeves splinters because they get under my skin just like a splinter.

To kick this year off, I have a splinter that is really deep under my skin and I can't seem to grasp, even with the most pointed pair of tweezers. That splinter is when I email someone and within that email, several questions are asked, only to have them respond back answering the very last question. Why do I have to number my questions in order to get a response to everything? I mean, this happens more often than not and it really aggravates me, so I'm putting it out there for those of you who do this. Now you know how much it irritates me and if you're reading this and don't know if you're one of those 99 out of 100 people, more than likely you are. It irritates me moreso when clients do it. How can you try to conduct business and ask your client a list of pertinent things regarding their design that they wanted yesterday, only to have them respond back with "Thanks!"?? WTH?? I asked you specific questions! That is not an answer!

Get it together for oh-nine people because we learned basics like this in elementary school. I guess most of you weren't paying attention.

Thanks,
Boss Lady

Family Values

Are you close to your immediate family or are you closer to your spouse's family or your friend's family?

I ask this because this tends to be an issue with most families these days. We all know jealousy and even hatred exists everyday, but do those traits exist within your household or family? Jealousy is a strong trait and hatred is even stronger, but they both exist daily and within every relationship around the world. Personally, I am not a fan of using the word "hate" because it is such a strong word and I do not believe in using it against living beings, but that does not mean it is a word that does not exist in everyday vocabulary.

Some of my friends and family have gotten married or adopted other friends and families and they have expressed how difficult it is to spend time with both families, but they try to come to some sort of agreement to where they alternate holidays in order to spend time with both families equally. For instance, my best friend and her husband may spend Christmas here in Houston one year with her family and then the next year they go to Dallas to spend Christmas with his family. They alternate holidays like this all year. I look at them and ask myself is this something I would be willing to do? I guess it would depend on how close I am with my family and how close I am with my man's family. I have been known to be a house hopper, where I visit several friend's houses during the holidays and although I've gotten used to that and my friends have probably gotten used to that, would they be okay with me changing things up if I got married and had other obligations?

I said all of this to say that some of my family members have new families and have resorted to spending their entire holiday season with their new family instead of their birth family. Does this mean they are right or wrong? It doesn't bother me because I totally understand that everyone meets new people along the way, besides, I have tons of friends I try to visit during the holidays to do something different from the norm, but it bothers some of my family members. I guess that's where the jealousy and hatred comes into play. Are these family members jealous that the other family members have a new family or are they just mad that there are other options? Should they be understanding or should both parties realize that changes will occur and things won't always be the same?

What do you think or suggest?

The Last Pet Peeve of 2008

Since it's almost the end of 2008, I will post one more pet peeve for the year because I'm sure I'll have a whole new list come 2009 since people tend to do things daily to get on my nerves...

Pet Peeve #999...People who pick up your cell phone when it rings and look at it to see who's calling before handing it to you. This pet peeve goes hand in hand with #999.1 and that one is people who pick up your cell phone when it rings and proceed to ANSWER IT because they know who the person is. WTF??

First of all, both of these are flat out rude, unethical and proves you have no home training. Respect other people's privacy! This particular thing happens to me quite often, so I have to resort to keeping my cell on silent, in my purse or strapped to my hip at all times. Leaving it laying around the room obviously invites others to think they have just cause to pick it up and invade your privacy. SMH...What's wrong with people? If someone's cell phone rings and it is obviously not yours, you simply tell that person their phone is ringing. If they tell you to look at it and let them know who's calling, fine, you have permission to look at it, but you should always, I repeat...ALWAYS wait for them to tell you what to do before you take matters into your own hands. Never, EVER pick up someone else's phone and look to see who is calling first. If they wanted everyone to know, they would have a phone that speaks out the name of the person calling.

Get it together people and stop being nosey! Damn!

...Another Pet Peeve (as if you're surprised!)

One of my top pet peeves (it's not #1, but it's a close 2nd) is people spelling my name wrong. A few people have been told they have butchered my name and all I ask is that you please don't do it again, but others continue to add letters or omit letters at their own discretion. Please know this gets under my skin like a splinter! Now, I allow people to give me tons of nicknames and some of them I have grown to love, but when you misspell my birth name or choose to spell a childhood nickname of mine your own way, you are irritating me to no end. 

I am not trying to say I'm perfect by any means, but I make it a point to try to notice how someone spells their name so I don't make the same mistake that others make with my name. For the last time...Ro is NOT spelled with a "w" or an "e" on the end! If someone's name is Rowina, I can understand you adding a "w" to their shortened name, but if the person's name is Romelle or Rokeshia, why would you add a "w" or an "e" after "Ro" when it does not make any sense? *sigh* 

Get it together people and please stop making me post spelling and grammar lessons on my blog. I am not a teacher and have more important things to do than teach you how to shorten someone's name. WTF?? I'm just saying...