Family Values

Are you close to your immediate family or are you closer to your spouse's family or your friend's family?

I ask this because this tends to be an issue with most families these days. We all know jealousy and even hatred exists everyday, but do those traits exist within your household or family? Jealousy is a strong trait and hatred is even stronger, but they both exist daily and within every relationship around the world. Personally, I am not a fan of using the word "hate" because it is such a strong word and I do not believe in using it against living beings, but that does not mean it is a word that does not exist in everyday vocabulary.

Some of my friends and family have gotten married or adopted other friends and families and they have expressed how difficult it is to spend time with both families, but they try to come to some sort of agreement to where they alternate holidays in order to spend time with both families equally. For instance, my best friend and her husband may spend Christmas here in Houston one year with her family and then the next year they go to Dallas to spend Christmas with his family. They alternate holidays like this all year. I look at them and ask myself is this something I would be willing to do? I guess it would depend on how close I am with my family and how close I am with my man's family. I have been known to be a house hopper, where I visit several friend's houses during the holidays and although I've gotten used to that and my friends have probably gotten used to that, would they be okay with me changing things up if I got married and had other obligations?

I said all of this to say that some of my family members have new families and have resorted to spending their entire holiday season with their new family instead of their birth family. Does this mean they are right or wrong? It doesn't bother me because I totally understand that everyone meets new people along the way, besides, I have tons of friends I try to visit during the holidays to do something different from the norm, but it bothers some of my family members. I guess that's where the jealousy and hatred comes into play. Are these family members jealous that the other family members have a new family or are they just mad that there are other options? Should they be understanding or should both parties realize that changes will occur and things won't always be the same?

What do you think or suggest?

Ego

Beyonce's new CD is out and I absolutely love it! One of my favorite songs is "Ego" and my favorite verse of the songs goes like this...

Usually I'm humble
Right now I don't choose
You can leave with me
Or you could have the blues
Some call it arrogant
I call it confident
You decide when you find
Out what Im working with
Damn...
I know, I'm killing you with them legs
Better yet them thighs
Matter a fact its my smile
Or maybe my eyes
Boy you a sight to see
Kinda sum'n like me...........

It's too big
It's too wide
It's too strong
It won't fit
It's too much
It's too tough
I talk like this
Cuz I can back it up
I got a big ego
Such a huge ego....

If this isn't the strong woman's anthem for 2009, I don't know what is! It's my anthem fo'sho! I have a HUGE EGO if you go by these words!

The Last Pet Peeve of 2008

Since it's almost the end of 2008, I will post one more pet peeve for the year because I'm sure I'll have a whole new list come 2009 since people tend to do things daily to get on my nerves...

Pet Peeve #999...People who pick up your cell phone when it rings and look at it to see who's calling before handing it to you. This pet peeve goes hand in hand with #999.1 and that one is people who pick up your cell phone when it rings and proceed to ANSWER IT because they know who the person is. WTF??

First of all, both of these are flat out rude, unethical and proves you have no home training. Respect other people's privacy! This particular thing happens to me quite often, so I have to resort to keeping my cell on silent, in my purse or strapped to my hip at all times. Leaving it laying around the room obviously invites others to think they have just cause to pick it up and invade your privacy. SMH...What's wrong with people? If someone's cell phone rings and it is obviously not yours, you simply tell that person their phone is ringing. If they tell you to look at it and let them know who's calling, fine, you have permission to look at it, but you should always, I repeat...ALWAYS wait for them to tell you what to do before you take matters into your own hands. Never, EVER pick up someone else's phone and look to see who is calling first. If they wanted everyone to know, they would have a phone that speaks out the name of the person calling.

Get it together people and stop being nosey! Damn!

...Another Pet Peeve (as if you're surprised!)

One of my top pet peeves (it's not #1, but it's a close 2nd) is people spelling my name wrong. A few people have been told they have butchered my name and all I ask is that you please don't do it again, but others continue to add letters or omit letters at their own discretion. Please know this gets under my skin like a splinter! Now, I allow people to give me tons of nicknames and some of them I have grown to love, but when you misspell my birth name or choose to spell a childhood nickname of mine your own way, you are irritating me to no end. 

I am not trying to say I'm perfect by any means, but I make it a point to try to notice how someone spells their name so I don't make the same mistake that others make with my name. For the last time...Ro is NOT spelled with a "w" or an "e" on the end! If someone's name is Rowina, I can understand you adding a "w" to their shortened name, but if the person's name is Romelle or Rokeshia, why would you add a "w" or an "e" after "Ro" when it does not make any sense? *sigh* 

Get it together people and please stop making me post spelling and grammar lessons on my blog. I am not a teacher and have more important things to do than teach you how to shorten someone's name. WTF?? I'm just saying...

 

The Bucket List

The Bucket List is a movie that I thought I never wanted to see, but after watching it on cable recently, I must say I am glad I saw it because it is an excellent movie. First of all, if you haven't seen it, I won't spoil it for you, but I must say making a "bucket list" is a great idea that I believe everyone should do at one point in their lives.

In the past, I have written down things on a sheet of paper that I would like to achieve and I called that list "goals" or "resolutions". Whatever the list is called, I believe we should all strive to do things we have always dreamed of doing, no matter how far fetched they may seem. I have done things that I have wanted to do, things I have never dreamed of doing, things I am proud of, things I regret, things I am embarrassed by, things I can laugh hard at, every time I think about them as well as things that make me cry whenever they cross my mind. I have achieved things that I can brag about and feel my heart filling with joy each time they are mentioned and I have done things that I will never tell another human being. I firmly believe that not everyone needs to know everything about you, so I am taking some things to my grave. 

After sitting here reminiscing on all of my goals, achievements, mishaps and failures, I realized I have yet to achieve a whole lot of things. With that said, I plan on making a brand new list this holiday season and instead of waiting on January 1 to begin crossing off things on my list, I will start right now...

The first thing on my list is to spend as much time as possible with my family this holiday season and with Christmas being only a few days away, this goal is very much attainable. For the past 6 or more years, I have tired myself out by trying to house hop to 3 or more houses on every major holiday and if you live in Houston or have ever visited, you know that traveling to and eating at several houses in the course of a few hours is nearly impossible to do! Mainly because of how HUGE this city is and how far apart everyone lives. Don't get me wrong, I love being invited by so many people because it lets me feel and know just how much I am loved, so please don't stop inviting me. However, this year, I'm making a point to spend time with my family first and try not to stress myself out by trying to make it to all those other houses in one day. I'm starting by making myself happy and what will make me happy is putting smiles on the faces of my family!

 

The Spirit of Christmas

With Christmas being less than two weeks away, the number one question being asked is "What do you want for Christmas?" Before you yell out an answer that includes material things, take a moment to read this email that was sent to me by a good friend of mine. It really makes you think and reflect on what this time of year should really mean and what gifts you should really be thankful for.

Thanks Cayenne, for this wonderful email!

Another year has come and almost gone and so many things, good and bad, have happened in so many lives. As the end of 2008 approaches, we need to truly take a moment to self reflect. How has God blessed you? Do you really pay attention? Sometimes we are so blessed that we forget to really be truly grateful to God.

You have a roof over your head and a warm bed? Blessed.
You have food in your fridge and dishes to serve it on? Blessed.
You have a job in an economy where hundreds of thousands have lost their jobs? Blessed.
You have healthy children and spouses? Lord have mercy! Blessed.
You have vehicles to transport you back n forth? Blessed.
You have a family who loves you and thinks about you? Blessed.

I could go on about why we should be happy and celebrating life and each other during this season but it does no good if we don't realize it for ourselves. Forget the spirit of Christmas for a second and remember the spirit of Christ. We should be worshipping him and giving lots of praise as we honor him. And in honoring him, we remember his greatest commandment...which is that we love one another. In loving your fellow man, you love Christ. If you are finding that you are not excited about Christmas anymore or that you feel empty or uninterested...it may be because you need a change for the holidays. Maybe visiting a hospital and bringing gifts to children who are battling cancer will make you feel uplifted and joyous as you go home and peak in on your own happy children safely in bed. Maybe donating your time and serving food to those made homeless by Rita, Katrina, and Ike will make you smile when you pull into your own driveway and realize your blessings. I honestly believe that taking the focus off your own grievances and problems to focus on someone else, can turn your humdrum spirit into one of joy. Suddenly, your problems don't seem so big anymore and you can fall to your face and kneel before God and give him TRUE PRAISE AND GLORY.

I said all that to say, this is a beautiful time of year when family and friends should look forward to seeing each other and celebrating life. Let's remember the people who are away from their families in Iraq this Christmas, let's remember the sick children and even the elderly who are cooped up in hospital wards this Christmas, let's remember the families where both parents have been laid off in the recent economy and can't buy gifts for their families this Christmas, let's remember the people who lost their homes, jobs and schools to Hurricane Ike this Christmas, let's remember the thousands of families who have lost their homes in foreclosure this Christmas and most of all let's remember CHRIST this Christmas. He is the reason for the season and we should always remember to be a blessing to others because we are so very blessed.

I love you all and ask that we each seek our hearts and remember what love truly is.

No Comment

I'm sorry, but this is funny as hell to me! Who knew Dubya knew how to bob and weave? Someone should sign him up to fight the heavyweight champion!

Watch the video here.

WTF??

So........

It's that time of year when everyone needs to buy someone a gift. Whether it is a gift for a relative, friend or coworker, we all dread having to go shopping to buy a gift for someone when we don't really know what that person wants or likes right?

Well, that's how I feel, even if you don't agree. I'd rather spend my money on myself. Not to sound like a selfish grinch or anything (for lack of a better choice of words), that's just the reality of it. Besides, you can ask someone all day long what do they really want for Christmas and they won't tell you the truth. I bet most of you don't realize how many people may actually talk behind your back about how horrible the gift was that you bought them. Is that an act of being unappreciative? Certainly, and you guessed it...I CAN'T STAND THAT!!

I said all of this to bring up a situation that occured today. A friend of mine asked a group of us for gift ideas for her secret santa and everything we suggested wasn't good enough. So after about 10 ideas, she said thanks anyway, but I didn't get the answer I was looking for. Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but if you didn't get the answer you're looking for, that means you already knew the answer, right? So why are you asking other people for their suggestions? That's just my take on it...I'm just saying.

Email Etiquette

Have you ever forwarded an email to people, only to get responses back asking you where on earth did you get that email, as if you are the creator of the email? Did they not see the letters "FWD" in the subject line, or did you remove those letters to make it appear as if you sent it, only to regret ever doing that in the first place?

This happens to me quite often and I get irritated sometimes (who am I kidding, I get irritated most of the time). I try to chalk it up to people being email illiterate and not understanding the whole concept of forwarding, but then again, I feel that most of these people actually believe the person who sent them the email is the one who created it. Unbelievable!

A certain family member of mine, who shall remain nameless, is kind of goofy, or shall I say, "slow" when it comes to understanding the whole concept of emailing (replying, forwarding, etc) and has often either sent me the same email I sent to her, forwarded an email to me that someone else had already sent to both of us and she didn’t notice my name on the original email or she simply responded back to me asking where did I get that email from because it was too funny??!?!! Here is how I respond to those crazy emails....When I get the responses asking where did I get that email from, I usually respond back saying "Uhm...it was forwarded to me", while I'm thinking HOW STUPID CAN YOU BE??? Or I click the button to send it to my favorite file folder....TRASH!

All I have to say is I shake my head daily and most likely delete those emails without bothering to respond because if I responded back trying to explain, I’d end up stabbing myself in the neck with a plastic knife. So, if you've never gotten a response back from me after you asked me a stupid question as stated above, now you know why.

Smile!

Naughty or Nice

As we all know, the holiday season is fastly approaching and the main question everyone wants to know is, have you been naughty or nice? I'll answer first...I've been both naughty and nice. I'll tell you how I've been nice, but how I've been naughty will remain confidential between me, Santa and my journal. (insert sneaky laugh)

I've been nice by simply trying to do everything I can possibly do to please everyone else. I've been nice by giving discounts on design work to people for the months of November and December. I've been nice by not kicking someone's ass who needed it kicked. I've been nice by refraining from cursing someone out who most definately deserved it. I've also been nice by holding my tongue when I should be outspoken and tell certain people they're riding my coat tails all the way to the big dance and trust me, I am not as stupid as you look. Last but not least, I've been extremely nice not to throw things back into people's faces when they know they deserve it. Instead, I'm going to continue to be nice enough to pray that they receive their karma in due time. LOL!!!!!!!

I ask Santa to please bring me nice gifts since I've been so nice to everyone else this year. lol

Craziness

Have you ever had someone tell you that you talk too much and never give them a chance to get a word in? I haven't been the person on the receiving end of that statement, but I have been the one to tell someone else they talk too much! If I'm one of those people, I only hope someone tells me I'm getting on their nerves by talking too much. I can take criticism, so by all means, let me have it.

I experience this all the time with people very close to me, but I won't divulge that information because they would kill me if they realize I'm talking about them. (although I think they're too "slow" to realize it) LOL!

Pet Peeves...The List Goes On....

You may have been wondering what my number one pet peeve is. Well, here it is...

Pet Peeve #1...People speaking incorrectly via text messaging or email. We learned early on in school on how to use words correctly, such as "you're" or "your", "their" or "they're" and even "write" or "right".

Come on people!!!!!!!! We learned this in grade school. This is one fast way to turn me off completely! If I meet a guy and he texts me "Your HOT!" you should see my face. I get so irritated and disgusted, I don't even bother texting him back.

I had a wonderful English teacher in school who taught me right away that if you question which word to use, talk it out. For example...

Lesson #1: break down "You're HOT" (since you're is a contraction), to both words..."you" and "are". Now, say the sentence as 3 words instead of 2 and you get "You are HOT!". Simple right? I would think so, but I have yet to experience that.

Lesson #2: the words "your" and "their" are possessive, so saying "Your HOT" or "Their here" makes absolutely NO sense whatsoever! Refer to lesson #1 and learn how to break the word down into two words so you tell a hot chick "You are HOT" instead of appearing like you left a word out of the statement. The correct way to use "Your" would be to say "Your ass is HOT!" and the correct way to use the word "Their" would be to say "Their asses are HOT!" Using "their" when you should be using "they are" and vice versa, simply makes you look like an idiot.

Got it? I sure as hell hope so.

Let's move on to the words "write" and "right". Now, in no way are these two words spelled similar, so there should be no reason for anyone to confuse the two. However, I have met my share of idiots who insist on using the word "write" when they mean or should know to use the word "right". How can that happen you ask? I would have never wondered that myself until it happened. Here's an example...."You know something, your write." Now, what the hell is wrong with that sentence??? In case you're one of the idiots I've been writing about, let me tell you. Not only is the word "write" incorrect, but the word "your" is used incorrectly as well. The sentence should read "You know something, you're right." OR "You know something, you are right." (break the contraction down into both words to ensure you use it correctly)

I'm going to need everyone out there to get it together if you want to impress that man or woman you intend to be your husband or wife one day. I can't speak for everyone out there, but as for myself, I can't get past the grammar ignorance. I also read a book by Eric Jerome Dickey recently called Pleasure, that I swore up and down was written about me at first because the main character in the book had a pet peeve just like this one. She was trying to get rid of a guy she was dating who kept sending her text messages with incorrect grammar and all I could do was laugh and think to myself that I'm glad I'm not the only one who notices this and can't stand it! Pick up a dictionary or thesauras or simply pay attention in school.

That's all for now...
Gemini aka Boss Lady

Have You Ever...??

Have you ever received an email that was meant for someone else, but they sent it to you on accident? What did you say?

Have you ever sent someone an email asking them for their address, only to have them email you back giving you their email address?? WTF? Obviously you know their email address because you EMAILED them to ask for their address. DUH!!

Have you ever secretly lusted behind your best friend's boyfriend or husband and never told them your secret?

Have you ever felt paranoid by certain things because you have a hidden fear or phobia that you don't want to reveal to your friends and loved ones?

Have you ever gone to the hair salon, only to have to come home and redo your hair yourself and feel like why the hell did I go there in the first place??? I could have saved that money!

Have you ever thought to yourself; why on earth does she wear those skinny jeans and half shirt when she knows she's too fat for them??

Have you ever had a friend who had bad breath or body odor all the time and you couldn't find the nerve to tell them?

Have you ever let a friend or family member go around with food stuck in their teeth just because you thought it was funny? You know that's not right!

Have you ever just sat up thinking about questions you could post on your blog and pray the people who they're really about don't realize it's really about them unless you really want that person to read it and realize it's about them??

Constructive Criticism

Are you honest with your friends? Do you tell them when they do something that gets on your last nerve, or do you just hold it in and vent to others about that person? I ask this question because of a recent conversation with a friend of mine. We discussed how some people can take constructive criticism while others cannot. The people who tend to not be able to accept criticism are often those to quickly point out your flaws, aren't they? That's what I've experienced most of my life. At any rate, I just wanted to put this out there because I know there are others who are either in the same position as me and can take the criticism as well as dish it or who are on the other side and can't take any type of criticism, regardless of who is giving it or what is said. Sad isn't it?

I'm not saying I'm perfect in any way, I'm just saying that things need to be said and if you are a true friend to that person, you need to let them know what it is that they do that may get on your nerves. If they are a true friend, they will respect you for your honesty. Try it and see what happens.

Laziness

Let me be the first to admit to being lazy. Let me also be the first to say I CAN'T STAND LAZY PEOPLE! Take that for what it's worth and twist it all up to mean whatever it is you want it to mean, but for me, it means just that...I can't stand lazy people!

Does this mean I can't stand myself? Perhaps. Perhaps not. You be the judge.

Let me tell you why I say I can't stand lazy people. I was driving down the street the other day when I came upon someone asking for money. Now, I consider myself a Christian and all, but it's something about some of these people with creases in their signs that make me mad and roll my window up. Not everyone is honest and I have to keep telling myself do not go broke by giving these people your money. Anyway, I approached the stoplight when I noticed this guy sitting on the curb with his "Please help me" sign. My thoughts immediately went back to 1995 (yes I remember the year) when my dad told me to pay close attention to those "homeless" people at the stoplights begging for money. He said to pay closely attention to their signs and notice there is always a crease in them. Then he proceeded to tell me that the crease is there so they can hurry and fold it up and tuck it in their jacket when they see the police coming because it's against the law in Houston to stand out there and beg for money. He also told me to look to my immediate right, right after I see one of these fraud people because there will most likely be a car that has a "for sale" sign on it or appear to be broken down. When I looked to the right, that bright morning in 1995, there was a car there and my dad said "That's that fool's car! How much you want a bet he will fold up his sign and limp across the street late at night and get in that car to drive home to his wife, mansion and porsche?"

At the time I laughed because I was still naive and loved my dads stories, but now I realize how true that is and how accurate he was. Thanks daddy, for tipping me to the lazy people who don't want to get a real job and sit on the corner to beg for my money. In case you want to come visit me, I'll be posted up on the corner of Smith street and Webster in downtown Houston, aka, Spec's Liquor Store. There are plenty of people with money who frequent that store and I'm sure I can wink my eye, flash my smile and get a few extra dollars a month. At any rate, my point is, there are too many lazy ass people in this world begging for other people's money when they should be out there looking for a way to make their own. Before I end this post, let me tell you about one time my youngest brother and I went to a corner store in our old neighborhood. We drove into the lot, got out of the car and was approached by a drunk guy asking for money. I can't remember how much he asked us for, but before he could finish asking, my brother said "You know what?? I was JUST about to ask you for some money." and kept walking into the store. LOL!! I died laughing once I got inside and realized what my brother had said. When we got back outside, the guy tried to shake my brother's hand and tell him that he got him good. He was laughing. Now what does that tell you? Did he really need that money or was he just trying to hustle a couple of young people making a stop at the corner store? Now I know why my dad called them "Stop 'n Rob's" instead of "Corner Stores".

Even More Pet Peeves...

Pet Peeve #10...You text or email someone to explain why you couldn't make it to their birthday celebration because you were sick or whatever the reason was, only to have them not respond. This really irritates the crap out of me because no one is really owed an explanation as to why you couldn't make it somewhere, but because it is rude to not respond at all, I make an effort to let that person know I didn't just blow them off. Aside from that, it is a simple act of gratitude to reply back to that person and say "I understand" or "I hope you feel better". Not responding lets that other person see just how selfish and unappreciative you really are! Not to mention, the person who invited you to their party never, EVER shows up to support for your parties, yet you still make every effort to attend their functions. WTH???

I was raised by the golden rule...do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Well, I've lived by that rule, only to have some people piss on me, so from now on, I'm going to start doing unto others as they do to me. I'll feel much better in the morning.

P.S. If you are reading this and wondering if this is about you....chances are, it is and you should take a moment to realize just how selfish and unappreciative you really appear to others.

Out With The Old...In With The New!

Can you believe it's almost the end of 2008? I can't. It seems as though this year flew by much faster than any previous year. A friend of mine told me that the number 8 represents change and so far, that has proven to be true.

2008 brought about quite a few changes for me, as it may have done for lots of other people. I changed careers, welcomed 2 new nephews, cut my long hair to donate to those less fortunate, met new people who have made a positive impact on my life, saw Janet Jackson in concert, and much more.

Why stop with the number 8 as a positive number for change? I believe the number 9 can bring about positive things as well. For one, I will finish my master's degree in 2009 and that alone will be a HUGE positive goal/change for me. Rather than make New Year's resolutions (who sticks to those past February?), I plan on taking the same approach I took January 1, 2008 and set goals for myself for 2009. I think the word goal itself allows us to really strive to reach those goals, rather than brush them off as just a "resolution" that no one sticks to for a long period of time.

As 2008 comes to an end and we welcome 2009 with lots of positive thoughts and goals, I wish you all a very happy and safe holiday season!

More Pet Peeves

Pet Peeve #299...Someone is driving behind you in the fast lane, damn near on your bumper...You get over only to have them get right back over behind you. WTF?? That is irritating as hell! Why were they tailing you in the first place??

Pet Peeve #300...Calling someone only to hear them say "Hey, let me call you right back in 5 minutes." You wait and wait and wait...a week later they call you back. The only thing to say is "Has it been 5 minutes already??"

Pet Peeve #301...I can't stand it when you have your stuff in place in your house and a guest comes in to borrow something then puts it back in the wrong spot. Why can't they remember where they got it from?

Pet Peeve #302...Watching a movie with someone who has seen it already and they continuously say "Watch this!!", "OMG You are not gonna believe this!"...or they start speaking the parts before they even happen. Don't they know that's rude? Did they not see the little animation before the movie started that said please turn off all cell phones and be quiet during the movie? Did they not think that applied to them in particular? Help a sistah out with this one.

Speaking of people not knowing things apply to them, that brings me to my next pet peeve...

Pet Peeve #303...People not getting the hint when you're telling them something gets on your nerves. You have to tell them over and over in different ways, only to have them laugh, agree and say "Okayyyyyyyy? I totally agree!' What they don't realize is that you were talking about their dumb ass all along! *knocking on their empty heads* HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! Get the hint and realize you may be that person they are talking about and they may be trying to give you subtle hints not to hurt your feelings. Pay attention and see if it applies to you before agreeing.

Pet Peeve #304...Asking for the "hook up" or "family discount" just because you know that person or you know someone who may know the person who is trying to become an entrepreneur. They are trying to make it on their own for a reason! If you keep asking them for a hook up or discount, do you not you realize you are holding them back from achieving their goal??? Hellooooooooooooooo??????????? smh...