Associates

Should we be concerned about someone we consider a friend when that person is doing nothing but trying to hold us back from accomplishing our goals?

By all means! That person isn't a friend and shouldn't be called a friend. We use that word too loosely and it always comes back to haunt us. Friends will be there no matter what and an associate will always try to make you be there for them when you're trying to make something happen in a positive way for yourself. Misery loves company. If we remember these simple things, there will be fewer accusations of "my best FRIEND stabbed me in the back". No boo, your associate stabbed you in the back because he/she wasn't your friend to begin with.

I have been in numerous situations where I called a man or a woman my friend; even my best friend, only to get hurt in the end when that so called friend did something to hurt me in the end. We have to be more careful of who we call friends and an easy way to do that is by taking the time to consider those who have a positive influence in our lives and those who create the most animosity and cause us to be negative in the end.

A few years ago, I came to the realization that several people whom I loved to hang out with and party with daily, were corrupting my life (for lack of a more appropriate phrase) and when I decided to pray on it day and night, I was shown in more ways than one that it was time to let them go and focus on me. It wasn't easy, but it had to be done, so I got the courage to call them and not let my kindness be taken as a weakness any longer, and I let them go. After that, I felt refreshed and renewed and I got back in school, something that I was told by them was not for me at that time.

It was a messy situation, but in the end I realized that it's true that some people are in your life for a reason, others for a season, and very few for a lifetime. As much as I wanted those people to be in my life for a lifetime, I had to realize that we don't have control over that, so we need to accept the way things are presented to us and move on.

I have moved on since then, gotten my BFA and my MBA and if anyone asks me if I ever think about those "friends", I will proudly tell them yes, all the time. There's no shame in admitting when I miss someone or think about someone and I will admit it with the quickness, but do I think I messed up in letting them go? Not at all. Would I let another "friend" go whom I feel isn't right for my life and the direction I'm trying to go? Absolutely!

Don't hate, get like me. I'm just saying.