Too Nice?

Is there such a thing as being too nice? Yes there is and I'm a victim of it.

My kindness is often taken for granted simply because I have a big heart and tell everyone yes most of the time that they get spoiled. Just like when you tell a kid yes all the time then tell them no that one time and they get mad, that's how most of the people I know react when I say no.

So, how do I fix this problem? The way I see it, I have two choices...I can either stop saying yes all the time and being so available when they ask me a question or need something from me, or I can just be a bitch and flat out say no. If you were me, which would you chose?

I'm just tired of being Super Woman to everyone else other than myself. It's time I take some time for myself and do me and not worry about the wants and needs of everyone else because when I need them, guess what? They don't hesitate to tell me no and I bet they don't feel bad about it either. So why do I let it bother me so much when I know I let someone down or hurt their feelings? Probably because I have such a big heart, but that's all about to change.

I'm fed up with everyone calling on me for every damn thing before they call upon someone else. I'm also fed up with people being lazy and not looking for something, but instead calling me to send it to them because they know I have it and know more than likely I'll send it and not say no. Just like you can wear welcome out, you can wear a friendship out by taking someone's kindness for granted. Especially mine.

The madness stops today.

Associates

Should we be concerned about someone we consider a friend when that person is doing nothing but trying to hold us back from accomplishing our goals?

By all means! That person isn't a friend and shouldn't be called a friend. We use that word too loosely and it always comes back to haunt us. Friends will be there no matter what and an associate will always try to make you be there for them when you're trying to make something happen in a positive way for yourself. Misery loves company. If we remember these simple things, there will be fewer accusations of "my best FRIEND stabbed me in the back". No boo, your associate stabbed you in the back because he/she wasn't your friend to begin with.

I have been in numerous situations where I called a man or a woman my friend; even my best friend, only to get hurt in the end when that so called friend did something to hurt me in the end. We have to be more careful of who we call friends and an easy way to do that is by taking the time to consider those who have a positive influence in our lives and those who create the most animosity and cause us to be negative in the end.

A few years ago, I came to the realization that several people whom I loved to hang out with and party with daily, were corrupting my life (for lack of a more appropriate phrase) and when I decided to pray on it day and night, I was shown in more ways than one that it was time to let them go and focus on me. It wasn't easy, but it had to be done, so I got the courage to call them and not let my kindness be taken as a weakness any longer, and I let them go. After that, I felt refreshed and renewed and I got back in school, something that I was told by them was not for me at that time.

It was a messy situation, but in the end I realized that it's true that some people are in your life for a reason, others for a season, and very few for a lifetime. As much as I wanted those people to be in my life for a lifetime, I had to realize that we don't have control over that, so we need to accept the way things are presented to us and move on.

I have moved on since then, gotten my BFA and my MBA and if anyone asks me if I ever think about those "friends", I will proudly tell them yes, all the time. There's no shame in admitting when I miss someone or think about someone and I will admit it with the quickness, but do I think I messed up in letting them go? Not at all. Would I let another "friend" go whom I feel isn't right for my life and the direction I'm trying to go? Absolutely!

Don't hate, get like me. I'm just saying.

More Splinters

Okay...So most of you who have been reading my blog know that I have posted a few that were titled Pet Peeves and then I changed the name to Splinters because I wanted to be different, plus splinters better describes how these things can be. They get under your skin just enough to irritate you like splinters.

My newest splinter is people who only respond to one question in an email, text, tweet, etc. For example, let's say I send an email to a friend of mine and ask these questions: How are you? How's the family? I haven't seen you in a while, how's the new job coming? I heard you had a baby, how old is he/she now? and their response is "He's 2 years old. How are you doing?"

WTF?? Did you NOT see my other questions? Did I just waste my time typing for my health? People, you need to answer ALL questions because trust me, if it irritates me, it irritates someone else.

Get it together people and READ every single question and RESPOND to every single question. Geesh!